I’m in midlife and my body has changed. There’s just no more estrogen.
The spring chicken years are far behind me. I have passed year 55, and my body does not function like it used to. My metabolism has slowed. There’s just no more estrogen.
My strength feels like it flows out of my hands and feet with every hot flash. I feel wimpy. My hair has thinned, my cholesterol has risen, my skin sags, and I’ve got a granny-belly that will not melt away no matter what, because, you guessed it, there’s just no more estrogen.
I find myself lured by so-called social media “experts” who have the secret, but I refuse to go through their paywalls. I’m not convinced they know what to do either. I’m skeptical of the hype.
Instead of listening to the ads, what if I listened to my body?
You know, in quiet. Listen. Ask myself how I’m doing, and wait. Maybe I need a drink of water. Or, I just need earplugs to cut the noise and settle my nerves. Other times, I need fresh air, a slow walk, some stretches. Maybe I need a healthier choice of eating. How about a big hug? I’ve been in this body a long time now, and it gets easier to hear what she is saying and respond to her. My body in menopause can be trusted. There is nothing more I need but to love me by listening and responding.
When I think of listening and loving myself, I remember Jesus’s new command to love the Lord with all of our mind, heart, and strength and love our neighbor as ourselves (Mark 12:30-31). To love our neighbor as ourselves. Our. selves.
Jesus’s new command causes me to think deeply about what it means for me to be vulnerable and admit that I need to understand my changing body without estrogen. My superwoman days are long gone. Midlife has me in an experience of bodily weakness that is transforming me. Admitting that my weaknesses need care open my awareness to be aware of the needs of others and respond to them as well. Loving and caring for myself sets me up to love others well. I know it sounds ridiculous to be vulnerable and embrace our weaknesses when we are taught to toughen-up. In the example of Jesus, he chose the weak and vulnerable things of this world to shame the strong (1Corinthians 1:27).
Shame and vulnerability researcher, Brene Brown, says that exposing our vulnerabilities is the birthplace of joy, love, hope, creativity, and new possibilities. This sounds like the Fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23 (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) and like the words of the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:10, “For when I am weak, then I am strong.” When we armor-up out of fear, rather than intentionally choose vulnerability, we tend to get nowhere, angry, burnout, and lose momentum.
Do not fall for the hype. You do not need to chase after the elusive visions of yourself when the estrogen is gone. the job is gone. the relationship is gone. your health is gone. You and your body have got what it takes for this moment. Be real. Be vulnerable about your struggles. Admit your weaknesses. Listen to you. Forgive yourself. Start with you. Respond in love to yourself.
And once you have done that work you will know how to love your neighbor as yourself. And that kind of love will transfigure the world around you.
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